Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
