No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
