He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
