Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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