omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize