BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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