I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
