He is an equal opportunity slut.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize