It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
