No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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