I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
