I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Use "feeling words"
Yay
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
