my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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