i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
