I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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