So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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