he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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