Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
