i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
