Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As shirtless as possible
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
