told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
