Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
