she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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