watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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