so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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