so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
