Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
