I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
