I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
