going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
