im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
