There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
