Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My ass is underappreciated
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
