This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize