considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You've changed since you got that strap on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
