is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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