I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
