We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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