SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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