We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
