By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
