I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Are we still banned from the library?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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