If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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