No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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