there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
