When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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