so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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