Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize