Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
