Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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