Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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