We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
