Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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