You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
