You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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