good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
