i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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