I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
