now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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